The Roller Coaster Is Real

Tate’s blood test results are in, and they show his body should be able to metabolize the Mercaptopurine normally. There is no explanation for why his immune system crashed so hard for so long. His doctor instructed us to resume giving him nightly chemo, but at half the dose. Tate has another appointment Monday morning to check his ANC. The doctor’s plan is to monitor his blood work and adjust the dose as needed. It is possible Tate will eventually be able to take a full dose, but with his immune system doing weird things they are not comfortable starting him on the regular dose yet.

It’s a relief! It’s baffling. It’s a good lesson.

I couldn’t function when Tate had to be tested for relapse. I cried for two weeks straight; it didn’t help anything, but I couldn’t hold it in. I am so grateful for the family and friends that swooped in and offered their love and support and hugs and food. I am also thankful for the people around us that were the calming forces, the steady people that helped right my thinking when I was going down a destructive path.

The last time I was that frightened for Tate was August 2018. He was in so much pain, and we felt helpless. I know it’s foolish to hope more scary times won’t happen, but I hope I am stronger the next time we are faced with them. I hope I can ride the storm out a little better.

The effects of last week’s chemotherapy and steroids have worn off, and Tate is in good spirits despite still fighting a cold. I unpacked the hospital bag we had sitting by the front door – I don’t think he’s going to need it. He had a school lesson with Maggie today, and he has physical therapy with Janet tomorrow and occupational therapy with Jen Friday. We told his teacher and therapists he is sick with a cold and given them the option to cancel, but they have all shown up for him.

Here are a few random pictures from this week: