Ring The Bell And Run Like . . .

This title is brought to you by my friend Mary Jane who would never in a million years finish that sentence. The last time we got together and she asked how we were all doing, all I could say was that we’re moving forward but that I wasn’t certain we’re all headed the same direction. She quipped, “Ring the bell and run like…” and then she raised her eyebrows really high and left me to figure out the end myself. Mary Jane’s sister-in-law Jen was fighting cancer the same time Tate was, and it’s a line her brother shared during her journey. It made me laugh! In more than five years of being hyper-aware of cancer slogans, sayings, memes, etc., I had never heard that before, and it explains our current situation perfectly.

As of yesterday, Tate is 2-years cancer free! He still has regular checkups, and if he can make it to the 5-year mark without a relapse he will be in remission. I want to laugh, cry, celebrate, and hide all at the same time.

A quick life update: Tate is pursuing a degree in Mathematics at Arizona State University; he is somewhere between a sophomore and senior. Greg is still working at LabCorp, and I am still at loanDepot. Scott is busy teaching which seems to bring him joy and exasperation in equal measure; he has a girlfriend and loves living in Colorado. I still buy fresh flowers for Tate every week. There is more, but today is such an important anniversary my mind keeps drifting back to bells.

When Tate was a senior in high school, he didn’t want to take graduation pictures because his hair was growing back for the second time, his face was round and puffy from all the steroids, and he was still in his wheelchair. He said, “What would people think if they saw a picture of me looking like this?” It broke my heart because I knew everyone would see a brave, tenacious, inspiring young man, but Tate, put simply, felt ugly.

I switched gears and asked if he would be willing to have photos taken post-treatment instead. Tate agreed, and two years later I got my pictures. I was so excited for picture day! It was one of those things where it meant so much to me that Tate understood how much it meant to me, and he made it as fun as possible. We had a great time shopping for his outfit. He said he wanted a red shirt because he always liked Scott’s senior pictures, and Scott was wearing red. Despite my interest in photography and normally knowing what I want out of a picture before it’s taken, I didn’t go into the studio with him; I figured that whatever he and the photographer came up with would be great. I have to admit I was not expecting this:

Tate obviously has no issue with that word. I nearly fell over laughing when the photographer pulled this image onto the screen for us to see at the end of the session. Evidently there was a lot of negotiation about this picture; she was nervous it would make me mad and wanted to delete it, and Tate had to assure her I wasn’t going to try to get her fired. “Trust me, my mom is going to love this.”

Here are a couple other things we did to mark the end of Tate’s treatment in 2021:

My mom worked really hard to put this video together. A great big THANK YOU to her and to everyone who sent a video for Tate. Watching him watch the compilation was one of the most emotional experiences of my life. He was so touched by the messages, and all the people that were rooting for him, praying for him, (baking for him – ha ha) for 3.5 years were all ringing bells for him. Here’s the link if you would like to watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CfErDdO0xc

We also had a party! It was an incredible time. Our friends and family were there to help us celebrate, and my mother-in-law arranged for a fire truck to swing by and “ring its bell” for Tate. My sister was a HUGE help pulling it all together the day of the party, and it was clear she had been working on various pieces for weeks.

Here are a couple pictures from his ring the bell days. The first is when he finished his last radiation treatment at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, and it’s clear that absolutely everything hurts. The second and third are from the end of his treatment at Phoenix Children’s Hospital Clinic in Mesa.