New Normal
Tate has been doing great. He’s driving himself to class every day for a week, and he LOVES it. He doesn’t love class – ha ha – he loves leaving by himself and having a little freedom. Freedom he has fought so hard for!
My heart fills with gratitude when I get to stand in our driveway and wave to him as he pulls out of the cul-de-sac. As Greg’s friend Kelly said the other day, “He’s so lucky he gets to do that.” As soon as he’s out of sight I fall into my typical “oh-my-gosh-I-hope-he-stays-safe” mode; I am who I am.
I still go to Tate’s physical and occupational therapy appointments. There will be a time when when I stop attending, but he’s not there yet. He still tends to get injured at these appointments. Sometimes something in his body just gives out, and other times the physical therapists working with him are interns and ask more of him than he is capable of giving. We’re getting better at spotting the inexperienced therapists, and Tate has learned to speak up when they set him up for injury. For example, last week the therapist began the session by requesting Tate start with some squats. Tate said, “I can’t do squats.” Her response was, “How about some lunges then?”
Face palm.
Going back to the Mayo Clinic was really hard; it kind of messed me up. When we Take Tate Phoenix Children’s Hospital and the clinic, all the kids are sick, all the parents are tired and sad, and we fit right in. At Mayo Clinic, where so many curious, sympathetic eyes follow our every step, we are reminded that nothing about it is normal.
Of the tree of us, Tate was the least bothered by the recent Mayo Clinic appointments. We all agreed that him taking an anti-anxiety medication before we left was a good idea: before The Daily Dwayne was a thing, Tate had a panic attack at Mayo clinic and was wheeled from his radiology consultation to their Emergency Room. From there, he was transported by ambulance to the Phoenix Children’s Hospital Emergency Room where he was admitted for observation. Making this appointment as easy for Tate as possible was a priority for us; we knew he would be immobilized and uncomfortable for about 45 minutes during his MRI.
As we were leaving Mayo Clinic I asked Tate if the anti-anxiety medication had worked for him. He said, “Yeah, it really did. When I was getting the MRI I tried to freak myself out, but I couldn’t even keep the thought in my head.” HA HA HA HA! Sometimes he makes us laugh so hard.
Lately a few people have commented that we’re having to get used to our “new normal.” That being a true sentiment doesn’t keep me from hating how it feels. Our old, messy, chaotic normal was a much more comfortable place.
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My first thought was, Tate you have to loose the pants. What if you need to get out of the car!
I too have been trying to think the “new normal”. Split between wondering how much of a pest to be (visit) and let the world turn as it is. It isn’t that I don’t think and pray for him on a daily basis, but find myself responding to friend’s questions in a positive futuristic manner.
I swore I would never get there at the a year ago and then the insides started to shift. In retrospect, how the human being adapts to the things we can’t change is a marvel.
Tate might share those calming drugs with you but then there is the whole driving and addition thing. Sara went through panic attacks after her surgery and I never understood the severity of them.
I enjoy seeing and hearing about the relationship he builds with his therapists.
I’m surprised he dislikes school. I wonder why as it has historically been his happy place.
I’m praying for another special friend to enter his life. Friends are important. I think there is a song titled I’ve Been Lonely Too Long. Oh well, we float in and out of lonliness. My Mother’s words years after my Dad died, “Sure, I get lonely then I get up and do something and that feeling goes away.” There is wisdom in just keep moving. If you run into a dead end, you’ve still moved forward learning that isn’t the way to go.
Hugs and cheers to the Allen family! Go Tate Go!
Oh, and the “face plant” terms always makes me smile!
I’m delighted to read about Tate’s progress and achievements! Driving was one of the many things we talked about during his weekly PT sessions, so glad he got his license. He is looking great. My job would be much easier if everyone had such a strong and loving family. Thank you for the blog, the folks in the office asked how Tate was doing the other day!