Dancing in the OR

Tate’s second-to-last chemotherapy treatment is done! ONE MORE LEFT! One more. I can hardly believe it. I can hardly believe it ever happened, and I can hardly believe it’s almost over.

Tate had an appointment last Thursday to get cleared for his last lumbar puncture. The nurse taking care of him at that appointment said they would be dancing in the OR to celebrate, and she delivered! Early Tuesday morning when he was going through the lengthy check-in process, she came over and did a little shimmy. I will remember that moment forever. It was so funny. Tate was less impressed, and that was funny, too.

Tuesday, the day he had to be at the clinic at 6:30am, was also the first day of the semester. He was in no shape to attend his one in-person class, but he logged on to his other classes from bed. I don’t know how much he was able to retain that day, but I am beyond proud of his determination to build a good future for himself. My hope for him, now more than ever, is that one day he walks out the front door and steps into the life he wants where there’s freedom and fun and friends. He has proven he can endure unimaginable pain and long periods of intense loneliness. I hope with all my heart that he finds joy.

Tate is not sharing his feelings about treatment ending next month. He shuts me down any time I bring it up. Whatever he’s feeling, he doesn’t want to share it, and that’s okay. I have realized that there is no social protocol for a person in his situation to follow – they should be allowed to think and feel whatever they want. You do you, Tate. Whatever that means or however it looks, you have all my love, support, and admiration.